I learned back in grade school that a smile helps to smooth things over– keeps you out of trouble. Lately, there has been a great deal of pushback from women who resent being told they should smile from men. Bustle writer JR Thorpe, wrote an excellent article about the power struggle behind a woman’s smile.
Winner of 19 Olympic and World Championship medals, Simone Biles didn’t smile and she made headlines worldwide. When asked why she didn’t smile for the Dancing with the Stars judges' compliments she replied, “Smiling doesn’t win you gold medals.”
I do fake smile a lot. It comes from a desire to serve others and to be approachable. I also smile when I am doing a slow burn. Woe to the person who can’t tell the difference. It is in the eyes. But am I forced to smile? Am I so used to smiling that I don’t recognize the power I am giving away with this conditioned response?
I wonder what would happen if we took back our face and didn’t smile for a day? Will I have to worry about having a Resting B*tch Face, RBF? Maybe, this post is really about the fact that it is a woman's duty to be pretty...
We are going to meet a rescue dog next weekend. Our last dog died months ago and left a huge hole in our hearts. My husband is nervous. He's not sure if he wants to open his heart again and risk future heartbreak. It's hard to grieve a pet.
I think women are made of sturdier stuff. The dog is not a replacement. It can never take the place of our beloved Charlie. But there is room in our heart for more. There is room to take a cast off– one who is downtrodden and nurture him. It is what we were made to do. Oh, I know someone is going to think I am old-fashioned and should be saying that women should be ruling the world. Yes, we can do that as well. In the workplace, there are strategies to ensure our nurturing, or mentoring is valued.
As a woman, I believe I was born to nurture and build both people and relationships. It is easy for me to pick a true underdog to nurture (no pun intended). I feel it is a duty to help love the unlovable and to strengthen the weak. A cute, popular breed of a dog doesn’t need my help. An older dog, one needing some medications, needs the love I have to offer. What a shame it would be to waste that commitment on an easy dog that everyone would gladly take.
I'm not afraid to grieve. I am only grateful for the opportunity to have someone worth grieving over in my life. It is an honor. It is a privilege. It is the price that one pays for the privilege of loving. When the time comes, I know that I will find ways to nurture myself through it as I comfort my husband.
As women, we are strong enough to love and we have enough love within us to be strong. That’s what I’m hoping for, anyway.